Colleen Dolan Writes
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WHY I'M STILL SINGLE

haiku

Picture

On Exclusivity: 
I'm the only one? 
That's not enough if you can't 
Embrace all of me 

On Cheaters: 
Why bother lying? 
Obviously we're not meant 
To be exclusive 


On Loving Older & Younger Men: 
Shared history, health, 
Music, morés, kids, career, 
I love men my age! 

Ending Endearments: 
After I left, he spoke 
Every word I had longed to hear 
For five years. 

No Commitment: 
For him, girlfriends are 
Functional accessories, 
Easily replaced 

The Silent Type; 
Discretion and valor, 
Intertwined, confuse me 
Just say what you mean 

Left Behind: 
You seemed so lost 
When we met. I gave you my map 
Now I'm wandering 

Gratitude:
You didn't have the balls 
To claim me
Now I have a pair of my own 

Forgiveness: 
He didn't love me 
How can I fault him for that? 
If you don't, you don't 

My Problem: 
I want too much- 
A partner who excites and 
Comforts me with his love 

Gifts: 
Finally, the stunning jewels 
Meant to appease my need for love- 
Do

Finally Letting Go:
Insignificant 
To the man I loved until... 
Hell, who the fuck cares?!

Dating After Sixty:
Sometimes I wish
My bullshit meters were not
So finely adjusted 

Remarriage:
Never again will 
One man quench all my desires,
But do try, my dear


MY HISTORY OF LOVERS 

Tony, the Innocent: 
"But I didn't have 
Sex with your cousin, we just 
Kissed in her basement" 

Lloyd, the Psychologist: 
"I had to cheat on you 
Because my father 
Cheated on my mother" 

David, My First Husband: 
Thirty four, married 
His college dream-girl, but 
I'm twelve years his junior 

Dan, the Ultimate Narcissist: 
His reply when I said 
Our daughters need support, 
"But what about me?" 

Mark, the Perfectionist: 
My life was constantly 
Monitored with his personal 
Pressure gauge 

Ed, the Upscale Fool: 
He left my love for 
Styled, high-maintenance thieves who 
Emptied his accounts 

Steve, the Younger: 
Mr. Trampoline, 
Too young, too energetic 
I couldn't keep up 

Kevin, the Serial Monogamist: 
If you can't swim, dear, 
Don't jump in the fucking pool 
I'm not your lifeguard 

The Nameless Aging Player: 
There's no prize for 
Continuous play. Someone, 
Give this guy a gold watch

Mistaken Love Story
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