This is my shrine to Clarity and Warmth: the reticulated quartz and amber necklaces, an ambergris candle, sipping rum, my journal, the kokapelli pin from my deceased friend Andrea, the shell once strung with love on a gold chain, a turtle for my friendships on St. Thomas, a phoenix, the business card for my website, a photo of two mated parrots who live in Wendy's garden on St. Thomas, and the rune stones. One is Blank - the unknown, and the other is Partner - and it is interestingly broken in two. I had to glue it together with superglue. That's pretty much the story of every one of my relationships - I held them all together well past their use-by dates. <sigh> After so many limping loves, I no longer want to be with a man who loves me enough to marry me. God forbid I should get mired down permanently with the wrong guy. Now, well ... right now I don't want to BE with anyone. Don't get me wrong, I feel warmly toward all men, and more warmly toward a select few. But I also am clear about not needing someone to fill my days. They're pretty full, as is. An occasional night would be nice. Perhaps a weekend. Maybe even a week. And then, I want to go home to my own cozy little bed. I like not having to check in with someone when I decide to go out. I like not calling if I'm going to be late getting home. And I especially like doing nothing in my pajamas all day and not having to report my accomplishments with a "What did you do today?" query. This is my life, and sometimes I just like to crank up the music, sink into the sofa with a good book, or putter around the house doing nothing in particular. Ahhhhhhhhhh. The weekend.
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