dipping toes in the pool

Yes, I finally went on my first (and second) date in a year and a half. The guy was great! First, we had a pizza date, then we walked and talked on Limantour Beach in Pt. Reyes. He’s handsome, talented, kind, intelligent, and articulate - all the things I would want in a lover. We have a lot in common, too. So what's not to love, right? I’d like to get to know him better, but fear leading him on. He is looking for someone to share the rest of his life, and I just didn’t feel the chemistry. My brain was turned on, big time, but after a while I found myself attempting to bring the conversation up to a superficial, story-telling level so he wouldn’t glimpse my soul. Without heat, I didn’t feel ready to share deeper feelings with him, and I don’t want to waste his time if my heart isn’t involved. I could tell from his reaction that he sensed I was pulling back. Either that, or he would have to think I'm a total ditz. In any case, he won't call again, and that's a little sad. 
 
My inclination is to accept, once again, that I am a sort-of-content, single woman, but I want to find a positive name for it. Independent is the best I can do for now. Free Agent? No, that sounds a little too rapacious. I’m really not on the prowl. Perhaps I should take the flight attendant approach: Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. No need to put a label on this new era, and no need to shove it into some new relationship territory. Today is just a ride from where I was to where I’m going, and the scenery is beautiful. See you later, ~ c